12 Punny Tips for a Fun 2012

1 Jan

1. Dream Big!
Dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

2. Take chances.
Flying for example, is the act of successfully throwing oneself at the ground and missing.

3. Tread lightly.
A friend said, “When I told the doctor I’d broken my leg in two places, he told me to quit going to those places.”

4. Eat to Live.
Like the vegetarians who do not love animals, but simply hate plants.

5. Take up a cause.
Support your right to bare arms: wear short sleeves.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff. A penny saved is ridiculous.

7. Learn to appreciate the laws of the universe.
Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

8. Think before you talk. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

9. Learn to be patient because you live in a society where fast food drive-thrus take longer than if you’d made it yourself.

10. Argue tactfully.
Try this: “OK, but that when I agree with you we’ll both be wrong.”

11. Choose joy!
Since God is watching, the least we can do is be entertaining.

12. Be humble.
Like me! “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”

Here’s to a truly wonderful, fun and profitable New Year!

Quips adapted from Cool Funny Quotes, 50 Funniest Quotes and One Linerz.

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One Response to “12 Punny Tips for a Fun 2012”

  1. Jennifer Valerie January 2, 2012 at 8:15 AM #

    That was funny. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning Marnie.

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